Theale Players (“TARTS”)

Theale Players stage theatre productions in the village of Theale in Somerset UK using a version of method acting not normally witnessed by rational human beings.

The productions are played out in Theale Village Hall which is well known locally as the Low Temperature Test Facility for the British Antarctic Survey, since the average temperature in summer inside the hall is approx minus 30 degrees Centigrade (known as “a mite parky”, locally). In contrast, when the Hall heating is switched on, temperatures have risen to as high as minus 29 degrees Centigrade at which time everyone takes off their coats and basks in the heat.

Formed in 1995, we’ve staged lots of productions all of which have been a total shambles right up until the first night, when the old adage “it’ll be all right on the night…” becomes miraculously true.

All performers are local to the village and act under pseudonyms to protect their family’s dignity but join in enthusiastically in thick coats (see Village Hall above) and even thicker voices.

Fuelled by local Zummerzet Cider (developed in the Crimean Wars as a rocket propellant but discovered to be quite palatable by locals) actors show their, er, talents in singing and dancing to overwhelmed audiences (some of whom come from as far away as Wedmore..) once a year.

Try and avoid future productions, if at all possible, as we can only get worse

CLICK HERE to join the Theale Village events mailing list to be kept up to date about future productions,  or alternatively,  plan your holidays to avoid the next production………………..